8 things you want to know about Portuguese table etiquette.

Portuguese Culture

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So, you are visiting Portugal - more specifically Porto - and some of your acquaintances has invited you over for a meal - say, a dinner and you - wisely, we might add - want to be ready not to make a slip while at the table with your hosts and maybe even want to impress them with your worldly knowledge of the Portuguese ways. Have no fear - we got your back for this one again. We are now going to list 8 things you should know regarding Portuguese etiquette.

1 - If you are invited to eat over at someone’s place that’s a big thing.

This is probably a worldwide assumption that slightly varies from culture to culture, but Portuguese people are particularly reserved about their inner sanctum or home. If they invite you in that means they feel comfortable enough with you to let you into their privacy. So pat yourself in the back for a start.

2 - On the other hand, if you are the host expect people to be late.

One thing that you will easily notice is that Portuguese people, no matter what their style is, are usually dressed up. So, when they are going for a meeting, they pull extra effort to impress you, even if it is in subtle ways. This is a form of deference. The downside is that we tend to get behind the schedule, so try not be offended by that. It will show - and that will really be kind of distressful to us. Up to thirty minutes - yes, you read it right - it’s considered acceptable. We understand that sometimes unexpected things happen so we are basically counting on it.

3 - This brings us back to you being the guess.

If you happen to be on the other end of the arrangement, it’s actually a good thing that you do not show exactly on time. Again, Portuguese people have this cultural underlying trend to try to impress. So people prep up their houses, cook their special dish, etc. As the scheduled time draws near, nerves start to settle in so things might get a bit late. So the host will appreciate if you don’t show on time and allow him or her the extra time to materialize your welcome as intended.

4 - We serve big portions.

Go with an empty stomach. You will probably need the room. And you will be asked if anything was wrong if you don’t eat: if the food wasn’t good, if you didn’t like any particular element (pro tip: if you really dislike something or have an allergy, do say that upfront while you are scheduling the meal). Conversely, if you are full, don’t keep accepting more and more food just to be polite. A full serving and maybe a bit more is all you need to do to be flattering to the host. Unless you are really enjoying the food and can manage it, say you are done; otherwise you will be committed to a hospital for being too full because your host will keep on manically serving you in the hopes you will not go away saying you didn’t had enough.

5 - Be thankful.

People like to see your appreciation. Say “obrigado” if you are a male and “obrigada” if you are a female. Yes, it is who says it that counts, not to whom you are saying it to. By doing this, not only you give your Portuguese hosts their most wanted feedback - we basically live off of that, like plants of solar light - you show that you bothered to learn something about us. Portuguese people go absolutely bonkers when you try to say something in our language. It may be ridiculously wrong but we love you a lot for trying. It’s really, really cool. Please do not try some sort of “gracias”. That-is-Spanish, thank you. Obrigado. Oh, and always praise the food. It really means a lot.

6 - Put down your phones or tablets.

This is very recent, but since people are becoming more focused on their portable screens, they obviously tend to drift away from their physical companies. In Portugal that is considered rude. Food is sacred and meals taken together are considered an opportunity to bond. Don’t throw that away just because you want to check your likes and notifications. Brave up and the praise you will get will be worthwhile. Trust us, we are Portuguese.

7 - If you are at a restaurant.

First of all, it is not really strange that the person that invites is the one who ends up paying for the check - especially if there is only two people involved. Gender roles may play a part in it but nowadays, if you are a female and you really make a point out of it, the men will step back just to be polite. But they would really feel more comfortable otherwise. The habit of splitting the bill is becoming more and more common and it’s usually a way to settle the dispute. An insider trick we will let you in that will work most of the times and will make you come off as a charmer, is you telling your table mate that now they have no excuses but to invite you for another meeting so they can pay back, if they are so keen on doing that.

8 - Tipping.

Anyways, if you are paying the whole bill or part of it, be warned that tips are rarely included. Waiters have a base salary and then they might collect tips. Sometimes they are divided among everyone, like barmen, cooks, etc. If you liked the service, don’t be shy to tip. The etiquette speaks about 10% but so long you are not being really cheap - like giving the waiter only your cents - any amount is considered (by the waiter and your table mate) a nice gesture.

Follow this simple rules and you will surely impress everyone. But if you really, really want to impress and surprise your Portuguese hosts and friends, why don’t you suggest them the place? What was that? You don’t know any place? Well, glad you mentioned it: let us invite you over to our cosy spot at Jimão.

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